Cuchinta/ Kutchinta

Most Filipinos are used to eating 5 times a day: 3 meals and two snacks. The usual succession would be breakfast, late morning snack, lunch, afternoon snack and dinner. Back in the Philippines late morning snacks were always convenient and on-time courtesy of our suking maglalako (hawkers). "Puuuto, puto kayo dyan. Puuto, kutchinta! Mainit-init pa!" His call can be heard half a block away and us kids then would be scrambling to ask for money. Making sure we'll be in front of our house so as not to miss his tasty rice cakes. Manong hawker has only two kinds of rice cake inside his tin cans, putong puti and kuchinta. Of the two I like the kuchinta the most. Slightly jiggly like a hard jello but with that characteristic bite that's a bit sticky and chewy. Warm and best eaten with freshly shaved coconut meat. Yummy!
I've been missing this treat for so long now but to my dismay there's no decent one to be found around. The few I've tasted so far are awfully disappointing aside from being way over priced. The last one I had last year had a bottom stiff as a cardboard and had a icky after taste.
So what else can be done but to learn to make one of my own. After much perusing here's a recipe that I was satisfied with.

What's In It:
1 1/2 c. All purpose flour
3/4 c. white sugar
1/2 c. brown sugar
1 tsp. atsuete (annatto) powder
a pinch of salt
3 c. water
2 1/2 tsp. lye water
Toppings:
grated coconut
toasted sesame seeds (optional)

How It's Done:
Mix together all the dry ingredients. Add the water and stir until you get a smooth mixture. Add in the lye and mix thoroughly. Set this aside for at least 3 hours. Then fill your molds halfway. Steam away for 15 min. over medium heat. Cool then unmold. Serve with grated coconut and sesame seeds.

This Thing Called "Lymphoma"

So what exactly is Lymphoma you may ask. I've never heard of this until last year, when we found out that the unassumingly harmless bump on my mom's armpit is actually a tumor. Categorically, lymphoma is a cancer of the blood.Or of the white blood cell to be exact.

Here's more on the matter form lymphoma.about.com:

Lymphoma is a cancer of lymph cells. Lymph cells (also called lymphocytes) are a type of blood cells that are known as white blood cells (WBCs). Lymph cells are found in blood and lymph nodes. In lymphoma, some lymph cells become abnormal, start multiplying quickly, and grow to form a cancer.

Cancer cells in lymphoma mainly gather in lymph nodes -- small structures present along blood vessels. As the cancer cells grow and multiply, the lymph nodes enlarge and form lumps. Most of the time, this cancer is detected as painless lumps in the neck, armpits or groin. Several other warning signs and symptoms of lymphoma include fever, weight loss and sweating at night. Lymphoma can also affect other organs of the body (besides lymph nodes) and give rise to a variety of symptoms that bring an individual to a doctor...........

.....Not much is known about the cause of lymphoma. Though some viral infections are known to cause this cancer, in most individuals, the reason for getting a lymphoma is unclear.

A more thorough explanation of Lymphoma can be found in here.

So lymphoma is a cancer but we never addressed my mom's illness as such. We just called it lymphoma not because we don't to seriously take the gravity of it. But we are more concerned on the sensitivity of using the word. We just want to avoid the alarming heaviness that the word cancer may bring to the situation. As they say "When life gives you lemons, make lemonade". Despite the sadness we find comfort.For our adversity has made us stronger... together... as a family.After all, this is not our burden but more so a test.

Please Send a Prayer of Healing for My Mama

My mom is in the hospital again. For more than a year now she's been battling with Lymphoma. After 9 consecutive sessions of chemotherapy and a radiation therapy last month the tumors still persist. Even worse she can barely move, nor eat or even sleep due to the tremendous pain brought about by the side effects of the radiation. They had to confine her to the hospital since monday for the pain and swelling in her arm and shoulder. I really don't know how bad it is since I can't be there beside her in this ordeal. But every time I remember Papa's texts, on how he would silently cry as he witnesses my mom's agony. And how my brother said that days before she was confined she would frequently scream in pain. Now, you must know my mama is very tolerant to pain. Having brought us four to this world just by the aid of a komadrona, physical pain is nothing new to her. I've seen her accidentally cut her finger with a knife and spill boiling oil over her hand. But not once did I ever hear her complain or shed a tear in pain over such things.
For almost a week now I haven't been sleeping well. Images of mama in the hospital bed keep me awake until 4 to 5 o'clock in the morning. I have puffy eyes from lack of sleep and crying. Somehow these past few days everything reminds me of mama and I suddenly turn into a cry baby. When I prepare our meals I remember how mama used to cook for us. When I see the pile of clothes I have to iron I remember how she managed to do weeks worth of clothes in one sitting. Even in trying to entertain myself by watching the news and my fave teleseryes remind me of my mom (esp. with the news of Cory's cancer). Sometimes eating even makes me feel bad and guilty knowing that mama has not eaten a decent meal for a long period of time.
I hate to be melodramatic but I just feel so helpless not being there with her. Not being able to comfort her or just cook something for her. It hurts me for being so far away in a time like this, knowing that what I feel is nothing compared to her pain.